Employer point of view
Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:53 pm
found on a friend computer without any reference to the source
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" ( alternate )
We have no company documentation standards.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" (*)
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
Added by Bill Woodger
"MAINTENANCE OF INNOVATIVE MACHINE-INDEPENDENT SOFTWARE"
We've sold the system to several clients, it doesn't work on any machine,
and we're looking for a miracle, or a scapegoat.
(*) the best IMO
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" ( alternate )
We have no company documentation standards.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" (*)
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
Added by Bill Woodger
"MAINTENANCE OF INNOVATIVE MACHINE-INDEPENDENT SOFTWARE"
We've sold the system to several clients, it doesn't work on any machine,
and we're looking for a miracle, or a scapegoat.
(*) the best IMO
